A Guide to Ring Bearers: All about the most adorable members of the wedding party

Every single member of the wedding party has an important role, including the very youngest of attendants, adorable the ring bearer. Here is a helpful guide to choosing your ring bearer, what’s expected of them, and how to prepare them for this most special of occasions.

Choosing Your Ring Bearer

Nephews, brothers, cousins, and godsons are usually chosen for the ring bearer, however, it’s perfectly acceptable to have a young female serve as one if desired, or if there isn’t a little boy in the family to fill the role. Or, if you’re having difficulty choosing one child over another, avoid any possible conflict and ask both of them to serve as dual ring bearers as there’s no set rule or standard for the number of attendants one should have in their wedding party.

One of the greatest things about planning your wedding is that it’s YOUR wedding, and although there are numerous traditions and rituals that commonly take place, ultimately it’s up to you and your fiancé to decide what you’d like to have included as a part of your special day.

Although ring bearers are usually under the age of eight or nine, with some as young as two or three years old, keep in mind that you’ll want the child to have a good understanding of what’s going on, and what they’ll be expected to do during the ceremony. The child should be old enough to actually participate, as well as be able to interact with strangers, but remember, if at the last moment he or she chooses not to cooperate and throws a temper tantrum, simply smile, move on, and enjoy your day.

When choosing your ring bearer, you’ll also want to make decisions regarding who is responsible for paying for or ordering the child’s outfit, depending on if they’ll be wearing a rented tuxedo, or a plain suit and tie.

Preparing Your Ring Bearer for the Big Day

The ring bearer should be present at the wedding rehearsal, and also given some extra time and plenty of patience when practicing and preparing for the big day. Ask your fiancé to recruit one of his groomsmen on the big day to serve as a buddy or friend for the ring bearer to look to for help, or just for some additional reassurance if need be. And, if your ceremony is on the long side, or if your ring bearer is very young, it’s helpful to have the parents sitting close by and allowing the child to take a seat instead of standing up with the rest of the wedding party.

The Role of the Ring Bearer

The ring bearer has the important role of carrying the rings down the aisle after the bridesmaids, either with or without the flower girl, usually on a decorative pillow. In most cases, the rings attached to the pillow are plastic, serving as replicas for the real wedding rings that will be held safe by the Best Man until it’s time to present them to the groom during the ceremony.

After the ceremony is over and the pictures are taken, the ring bearer’s duties are complete and won’t be needed in the receiving line, or required to sit at the bridal table at the reception, except in the case of a parent also being a member of the wedding party. Also, allowing the children to change into more comfortable, and less expensive, clothing is a good idea to consider, especially in the case of rented tuxedos.

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